it.

Today I have lived, but I'm not sure I can call it that.
The hour glass that holds the sand of my life is quickly running out, I can feel it.
I can feel an urgency in my heart to do things, to accomplish things, to say things.
But that same urgency is clouded over with a silent hand.
I am paralyzed. I am stiff.
I'm about to break, and I HAVE told you. You just didn't understand or believe.
I'm drifting away, and there is nothing you or I can do.
What was once so solid and certain is now a memory.
What was once undeniably secure, has vanished underneath me.
Now more then ever do I know that nothing is immune to the things in this world.
But despite that knowledge, I continue in my way of what seems like ignorance, but to me is perserverance.
You can't break me anymore than you already have, and some day I'll be laughing at you for not believing.
What you think is me is so not.
I do love you, and I'm sorry if you don't think so.
I think it will be different from now on.

my prayer

Jesus in heaven, even your name is holy.
Please help us to live in your Kingdom here in this world, just like it is in the Heavenly world.
Please take care of me today,
and please forgive me, and I'll forgive those I need to too.
Help me stay away from the things that will hurt me,
and save me from evil.
The Kingdom is yours, all power is yours, and all glory is yours.
love you.