its Easter.

i think the concept of posting blogs is a funny thing. Its like a way for us to have our "journals" or "diaries" read by other people. Now why i would want that, i don't know.

i have actually had this site for a while, i have just kept it private; no one knew i had it. I like to have things that are between me and myself, and no one else. Why must everything be known? But, i have been having more and more thoughts lately that i want feedback on, but at the same time i don't want to push them on people by imposing a long philosophical conversation on them (which if you know me, you know that tends to happen). SO, in light of this, i decided that if you want to be a part of my thoughts, you have that choice.

It is Holy Week. We celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. We remember that He is alive, and that he is coming back, and that it's for that reason that some of us devote our lives to "the Way". This intense reminder is good for me. I want to quit sometimes. I want to leave the Way, and I want to do what I want to do. I don't want to think. I don't want to follow. The problem with this is that I have been created with a deep hole in my heart that is constantly screaming for a reason for existence. There must be something more. There must be something more. There must be something more. And that is why Easter is so important. Because it expresses my 'something more'. It gives me a reason.

Lately my questions have been getting answered.

I can't see you!
Blessed is he who believes without seeing.
I don't understand!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
And when I do feel You, why can't everyone else?
The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness does not comprehend it.

It is right there that i struggle. In my mind; according to what i think i know; i have found what i believe to be the Light. And because of the sense of meaning and fulfillment it brings me, i am compelled to hope and pray and try to get others to find the same Light. But how do you bring something to those that can't comprehend? And why was I allowed to understand? What was the specific light that broke through my darkness? What was the Light brought to me that gave me something more? And who am i to assume that i am privileged?
We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you; Because by your holy Cross you have redeemed the world.